"GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME ... something else ... whatever ... "

"Your knight in shining armor
 Ain't no nice guy at all..."
"Forget all your opinions baby,
 because I will always win!!!"
   -Mr.Bungle

"CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision."
   -Ambrose Bierce

"Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."
   -Obi-Wan Kenobi
   "Return Of The Jedi"

"Life is not a mystery to solve, but a puzzle to play"

"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Arius, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to bear the jeweled crown of Aqulonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!"
   -from the movie "Conan the Barbarian"

"You're not going crazy, you're going sane in a crazy world!"
   -The Tick

"I shot an arrow towards the sky, It hit a white cloud floating by.
The cloud fell dying to the shore, I don't shoot arrows anymore!"
   -Anonymous

"You know if I sleep on my hand long enough, it'll get so numb I can smack you with it and not feel a thing..."
   -Shawn Ferris
"If I sleep on my dick long enough, it will go to sleep and I can smack you with it and feel every last ounce of pleasure."
   -Shabba2 (@aol.com)

"I don't know what I like, I only know what I don't, I don't like what I know, I only love what I don't, I can't not have it, I did but I didn't, pain is so..."
   -Bill Ferris

"No man ever won a war by dying for his country; He won by making the other poor bastard die for his."
   -Gen. Patton

"To stay awake all night adds a day to your life."
   -Stilgar (Frank Herbert)

"I was scared then, not now.  How long do you want me to be scared?"
   -Chili Palmer
   "Get Shorty"

"Sometimes I wonder about the Creator of the Universe."
   -Kurt Vonnegut
   "Breakfast of Champions"

"The socialists believe in two things which are absolutely different and perhaps even contradictory:  freedom and organization."
   -Élie Halévy

"Now I know why everything turns grey, but it's our own world we paint
And I want the brightest, I want fluorescence every day and night
For the rest of my life . . . "
   -Faith No More
   "The Crab Song"

"Yap yap, dibby dow, bop bop, dooba doom, dabba down, babba dim, babba down, babba down . . . "
   -"Wierd Al" Yankovic
   "Since You've Been Gone"

"When a burglar breaks into your house, you don't get a hose and trickle him down with water, you grab something hard and go bash his brains in!"
   -Arn "The Enforcer" Anderson

"Don't put a question mark where God put a period."
    -Anonymous

THINGS TO DO TODAY:  Breathe in, breathe out.  Breathe in, breathe out.
    -Anonymous

"You know, you're just too dumb to live."
            -Christine Lee, of the Craig & Company Morning Show

"In fact, let's go back to the O.J. case.  It would have been nice when the verdict was read, if Ito had stood up and said, "Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.  However, bull.  Guilty!"
   -Jason Alexander
    (Politically Incorrect)

"I'm tasting some of the guano.  Do I feel different??  If so, I'm going to mix some with my drinking water."
   -Dave from Knights of the Dinner table #11

"We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.  We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."
   -Anynomous

"My dad gave me a copy of 'The Origin of the Species' and the Bible when I was eight years old and said 'You figure it out.' I think my religion would be more about asking that and searching.'
   -Poe (the singer)

-ISMs (from Ann Landers)
Socialism:  You have two cows.  Give one cow to your neighbor.
Communism:  You have two cows.  Give both cows to the government,
 and they may give you some of the milk.
Fascism:  You have two cows.  You give all of the milk to the
 government and the government sells it.
Nazism:  You have two cows.  The government shoots you and takes both
 of the cows.
Anarchism:  You have two cows.  Keep both of the cows, shoot the
 government agent and steal another cow.
Capitalism:  You have two cows.  Sell one cow and buy a bull.

"Don't Steal.  The government doesn't like competition."
   -Anonymous

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
    -Anonymous

"The one in the front is the one on the run . . . "
   -Powerman 5000
   "A Swim with the Sharks"

"The fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner."
   -Al Bundy

"Endurance pierces marble."
   -North African proverb

 "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
   -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

"The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles.  The wireless is the same, only without the cat."
   -Albert Einstein

"Whoo Hoo!"
 -Blur
"Whoo Hoo!"
 -Homer Simpson
"Whooooooo!"
 -Ric Flair